Current Time: 7:35 p.m. CT time.

Current mood: Crummy

Current food: Chips

Current Drink: nothing

Today's Lyrics:
Artist: Offspring
Album:Smash(1994)
Song:"Self Esteem"

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practice all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I got no self esteem
We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
All this rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her no
When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should speak up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah yeah yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb
But I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem.



[Journal]

Ok Have ya ever had a day where It seems like no one loves you? Then You get reminded of all your friends they love you and You feel worst!!??!? I didnt think so! Im A freakin' Weirdo Aren't I?
Ok how about this, have you ever had a day where it seems like al your friends are igoring you and then when they stop ignoring you the're all
A)Depressive
B)Boring
C)Acting like they dont want you around

GR! You havent!?? I AM A FREAK AREN'T I!!!!!!
-Note if your reading this, Brad is Just having a slow period in his life and is Frustrated. Now back to the yelling-

AHHHH!! BU!!!! ARRRR!!!! GGG!RR!!!!!
*pants out of breath*

Ok...Im better now. All My friends that read this are like going to Freak out when they read this. There just going to go nuts and thing something is wrong with me... I really need some Hyper/Prepy friends i guess... At least they would be all Fake and shit and look all happy and LIKE totally.
GRRRR!! AHHHHHHH!!! *bangs head against wall* I really think Im just going to go run around My house for a while. So i'll brb
.
.
.
.
*comes back* Ok... That didnt really help. I guess I just need something new i guess... a girlfriend? I dont know.. I have no clue what I need.. yea i do. I NEED A LIFE! I have no Life!! Im a freaking Loser dude who stays home all day on the computer thinking, "Oh I'll be happy when I move out and make friends college." When I know thats most likely not going to happen. I dont even Really know what I want to grow up to be. I want to Be a Beach bum!! YEA! Do nothing all day long and die at the age of 23 or Lack of Food and Love. Yea! YEA! YEAA!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!! Im having a Break down or some shit..... Ohh.. If your reading this, You must be really bored to read this much. Just go away and get ya something to eat and go back to your life.

The Mental Joker,
BrAd

My worried friends: